It has now been 7 months on this journey here at I'm Married To A Functioning Alcoholic. Over that short time I have received so many thoughtful, kind comments and e-mails that have encouraged me not just in my efforts for this humble little blog, but in my efforts in working my program, working at my venture and just working at life. So I want to express my gratitude, and say thank you.
Thank you for reading my words and my experience and for contributing yours; for coming together to form what is now a cozy enclave of support here. It is a priceless comfort in finding that we are not alone, and that despite the differences of our daily lives, occupations, family structures, cities, countries, cultures, we have worn the same shoes and walked similar paths in our struggles. Most of us have made the same mistakes, attempted the same solutions, hoped the same desperate hopes, and asked ourselves (and our alcoholic loved ones) the same questions.
Knowing that there are countless others just like us can embolden our recovery, break us out of our denial and encourage us to focus on ourselves, help us discover hope, and can show us our common issues and pitfalls and boost us up to better, healthier ground. Myself, I've had many a program friend (and non-program friend) boost me and am forever grateful.
My hope stretches out to you that you can, in the words of a dear friend, find the calm amongst the storm around you or in your own thoughts and feelings, to quiet your mind and soul, and find peace.
Thank you for the Thank You Post. Your blog has brought me great comfort. I was thrilled to see your post after the day I have had. I have been thinking of all of you.
ReplyDeleteI have posted a few things - my rug incident, my husbands 30 day plan and non-alcoholic beer cover-up. Well he made it maybe a week. I just have not been saying anything to him about it. Wednesdays seem to be a trigger day for him. Something at work upset him, he went to a bar, sent me a text message and told me I might be right that he has a problem. He went to one of our friends house who is a recovering alcoholic (I confirmed with the friend he is there and off the road). That was four hours ago. The friend was going to let me know when he left. My question to you all is what do I do now? I'm stumped, annoyed he hasn't called, pissed off that I am spending another evening stressed out beyond belief. I feel like he is just so miserable with our life that he has to drink. I go back and forth with blanming myself. Our life is not that bad but we have had a rough few years-some family deaths-I had a bilateral mastectomy after Stage 1 Breast Cancer. I have a few more medical issues and I feel like he can't handle them and he is spiraling. I would love to be supported right now with my journey but I feel like all the focus is on him. I'm looking for advice. And like all of you have said - the simple answer of "just leave" is not that simple. I want to support him if he really wants help but how can you tell if this is that time or just more lies about change.
You have us. Vent away. Although I don't face medical issues I know what it feels like wanting support and not having. I think being married to an alcoholic is an incredibly lonely marriage. There is no we or us just them, he or she. Its like being in a deep hole with lights occassionally.
DeleteOhhh..bless you for your courage and honesty. You have my support in thought and prayer. In fact, all of the participants in this blog do. It is a rough road to be on. We are all different in so many ways, but share the same hurt that alcoholism and addiction bring in our lives. Please continue to keep writing for support and don't be afraid to lean on friends, family, and your faith to see you through whatever you decide. I think patience and an objective look at what transpires in the next few months (?) will give you the answers you need. But, like so many of us, timing and courage to take the next step may take much longer. BTLJ
DeleteThank you for posting. You have really helped me deal with my situation. You are kind and strong woman for doing so.
ReplyDeleteThank you! You have helped me get through so many very rough times, and you have made me realize that I am not the only one & that I must not lose myself. There really are no words for what reading your story has done for me. I can only hope that telling it helps you in the same way that reading it does for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm 58 years old and married to a Functioning Alcoholic who has been a secret drinker for the entire 28 years we've been together. I found your blog by searching for "Secret drinking". It has helped both of us so much. My husband, now 70 finally admitted he had a problem and was a secret drinker and is seeking help. You have made such a difference in the lives of the people you have touched with this blog. Thank you! I feel that you are moving on your personal journey, "preparing for the worst and hoping for the best". I send you love and gratitude to take on your journey.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to come across this blog. I am no longer alone. Thank YOU!
ReplyDelete