tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.comments2023-12-05T01:48:14.962-05:00Married To A "Functioning" AlcoholicAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12589633523591657778noreply@blogger.comBlogger436125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-31140221219819333922014-12-16T15:54:43.626-05:002014-12-16T15:54:43.626-05:00Love this blog, makes me laugh and CRY !!!! Hope ...Love this blog, makes me laugh and CRY !!!! Hope to hear from you soon !Jodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13910922699119630157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-86856592227898203882014-12-12T12:13:54.694-05:002014-12-12T12:13:54.694-05:00Wow! Thank you!
I just found this post from a Go...Wow! Thank you!<br /><br />I just found this post from a Google search. I've been desperately trying to find someone who is going through the same thing as me. I'm not sure why it's so important for me to know that someone is out there who understands what I'm going through, but it is. <br /><br />I think my wife isn't drinking quite as much as your husband, but the hiding, denial, resentment, lies, and self-deception are incredibly similar. There is something unique about this "functioning" alcoholic, that my year in Al Anon hasn't yet addressed for me. Your post has helped tremendously. Thank you, thank you, thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-683883205662891432014-12-09T17:25:07.074-05:002014-12-09T17:25:07.074-05:00Beautifully written, I am also struggling with thi...Beautifully written, I am also struggling with this. Do you think that ultimatums are ok? I promise if he does not stop drinking I am leaving him but it is ok to tell him that?Shannonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-39840570525180431642014-12-08T21:23:09.759-05:002014-12-08T21:23:09.759-05:00So relieved to find this blog! Thank you so much f...So relieved to find this blog! Thank you so much for putting your story out there. I can relate to all of this. The secret drinking was meant for me to read. My husband hit rock bottom and I said no more. He has been sober now for 4 months. But everyday is still very hard because I've been damaged/ traumatized if you will because of his years of drinking. Again, thank you!!!!! And best of luck to you !!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-22256479446845372532014-12-07T03:19:06.831-05:002014-12-07T03:19:06.831-05:00I am very angry and hurt that my husband is like t...I am very angry and hurt that my husband is like this and I just realized that I can not help him if he not going to help himself. I was brought up around nothing but alcoholics, I don't drink and I definitely didn't want to marry a person who has this disease but I have and I need to make the right decision for me and the kids. The hiding or the drinking don't know what hurt more the fact that I can't trust him or the fact he is drinking. Well it's both. He come home and I can tell the difference in him and said something and he denied it talking about he just tired from work but I know he is lying. I'm not alone in this and that's good to know and I'm going to try al-anon for help to try to deal or understand this but I don't know if I can put up with being around him drunk. I feel as if the love I had has turned into hate. I can't just run out on my marriage so continue to pray and find a way to cope. Thanks for sharing your stories helped me a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-70353779400489421602014-12-05T03:22:43.881-05:002014-12-05T03:22:43.881-05:00Hide your can of beer in a Coke can. Or just pour ...Hide your can of beer in a Coke can. Or just pour the beer into the Coke can!This is probably the best way to <a href="http://www.collegeokplease.com/rofl/7-offbeat-ways-to-secretly-drink-when-you-re-in-public/393" rel="nofollow">get drunk secretly</a> .Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15522671272952866260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-32245630598871117372014-11-24T16:34:00.431-05:002014-11-24T16:34:00.431-05:00My wife does the same thing she will go for a week...My wife does the same thing she will go for a week sometimes again and then almost seems to make a scenario where she just has to have a drink. She doesn't hide it that I know. She often puts the "need" as I call it ahead of us. Me and the boys, my feelings or herself evenGodisfaithfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04500230479390763841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-50492131475320950832014-11-19T20:23:29.597-05:002014-11-19T20:23:29.597-05:00I don't even know what to say. ... I'm pla...I don't even know what to say. ... I'm plain crying right now. We've been married for almost two years. Then, it was just social drinking, but I have noticed then that he does not know when to stop once he starts. I try to avoid going out with friends with him since I feel embarrassed when he's had more than a few beers. He's a very sweet man but reading about alcoholism makes me feel really afraid of what can happen eventually. He currently drinks about 6 beers daily. I don't know what to do, think or feel. I'm afraid of what our future holds. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-47097332419665767482014-11-19T10:26:24.480-05:002014-11-19T10:26:24.480-05:00oh god, this could be me.
but at least it is star...oh god, this could be me.<br /><br />but at least it is starting to make sense. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-63172295143546331042014-11-12T01:09:11.181-05:002014-11-12T01:09:11.181-05:00When I read everyone's post, I truly feel that...When I read everyone's post, I truly feel that I'm reading about my life. My husband blames me for his drinking b/c I'm judging him. I've found empties all over the house. Inside jacket pockets, tucked away in the corners of closets etc... He came home from work tonight (a Tuesday) and fell asleep on the couch within 30 minutes. I knew he had been drinking. <br /><br />My husband is a functioning alcoholic. He has been for over a decade. I've denied it for years. Turned a blind eye. Confronted him at times. We have 2 kids. I'm falling out of love with him b/c his drinking has turned him into a different person. He's not mean. He's not abusive. But he prefers to drink than to be intimate and work on our relationship. <br /><br />I don't to break up the family b/c he loves his kids and is there to support them. I fear the day my youngest moves out. We wont have anything in common to keep us together. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-43606670804635689692014-11-11T18:02:24.736-05:002014-11-11T18:02:24.736-05:00I feel like you are writing about my life. I have ...I feel like you are writing about my life. I have no-one who understands what I go through and it helps me to know there is someone going through the same things as me. Please keep blogging! XxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-836025250852046772014-11-10T21:59:28.298-05:002014-11-10T21:59:28.298-05:00Thank you for having this blog!!! I had no idea t...Thank you for having this blog!!! I had no idea that there were so many people dealing with the same things I have been dealing with. This is my second marriage and I have 4 children. (2 with him). We will be married for 12 yrs and his drinking has gotten worse each day. He only drinks at home and will not drive or leave the house once he opens a beer. He isn't mean or degrating with his drinking, but my needs are not being fulfilled. I teach so I am with children all day long and then the main caregiver for our children at night. I need some adult time or conversation. We are just merely roommates that talk, but he doesn't remember anything that we have talked about the next day. He would rather drink that have sex and we always have to make sure we are home in time for "beer-thirty" or he will make sure he has a cooler in the car so he doesn't loose any time drinking. The main issues is that we have money issues and he spends all of our extra money on beer and cigs. It is very frustrating. I feel quilty if I want to spend anything on me and then I think...he spends all of this money why can't I treat myself to something. I am feeling neglected as a woman and wife and after living through one abusive relationship I just don't think I can do this again. (the first relationship was verbal abuse) I just don't want to go through another divorce. I love my husband and I know that his addiction is inherited from both his mom and his dad, but I just don't know how much longer I can deal with it all. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-38998483867498505562014-11-07T00:07:21.714-05:002014-11-07T00:07:21.714-05:00Where have you been? I just discovered your blog, ...Where have you been? I just discovered your blog, and it really sheds light on my situation. I have been putting up with a lot of things from my FA husband, and you explain in such a way that I can see where the alcohol ebds and the asshole begins. But how in the hell do you stay under the same roof with another human being who acts llike that? I'm having a hard time with that one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-64082095754304202372014-10-27T13:32:51.040-04:002014-10-27T13:32:51.040-04:00This blog has hit home for me I cant wait to read ...This blog has hit home for me I cant wait to read more. My husband is a functioning alcoholic he is and ACA. In the beginning of our relationship I told myself that his drinking is what young people do because I only thought alcoholics were people who were bumbling drunks who couldn't keep a job. Boy was I wrong. After his second dui (first one was before we met) he was put in a program were if he followed the program charges would drop and he could get his DL back. I supported him through it and thought that would be the end to obsessive drinking. I didn't expect him to completely stop drinking because like I said before we are in our 20's that's the norm. I also told him if he got another one I would leave because I didn't want to live with a alcoholic, both my grandfathers are alcoholics and my father (who I didn't live with) was one and had just recently died of live failure. Well in 2011 I found out I was preg and not even a couple of months later he gets a dui AGAIN! I seriously was about to leave and move back home across country, but he begged me not to take his child away. Well the months waiting for his court date he began to drink all the time we live right around the corner from a bar. He began to spend all day at the bar come home pass out and do it all over again. The first few months of my sons life I felt like a single parent :( Now he's in a court program and has been sober for 1 1/2 years my biggest fear is when the program is over will this cycle start over again. Some days he says no because of our son but then some days he say he doesn't know. I mean I guess I can understand no one can predict the future but he acts as if he's not even going to try after its done. so I guess my biggest fear will be should I stay if he does head back down that path? I know I took vows for sickness and through health but is it fair to raise my son with an alcoholic father? Will it cause him to be bitter towards him? Thanks for reading my long rant! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-87096564803615945112014-10-24T17:13:30.826-04:002014-10-24T17:13:30.826-04:00Wow, this is amazing. just realised I"m repea...Wow, this is amazing. just realised I"m repeating history and living my mothers life again.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-4909004412626368332014-10-08T12:30:00.681-04:002014-10-08T12:30:00.681-04:00Oh God, I think we just had this argument a few we...Oh God, I think we just had this argument a few weeks ago. Except for the part about the alcohol. Because he's not an alcoholic. He just has a really good metabolism, and 10-14 drinks a night isn't a problem.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-80359409042234189602014-10-06T15:36:49.771-04:002014-10-06T15:36:49.771-04:00I know your pain. I know your pain. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-76603814358901590852014-10-05T10:30:51.198-04:002014-10-05T10:30:51.198-04:00I came across this wonderful blog...I thought i wa...I came across this wonderful blog...I thought i was the only person out here living this lonely life..i am married to FA..we have been married over 10 years....he drinks and smokes pot everyday not at home all at the bar....all of friends are there.....then I get the drunk person who is happy and nasty all at the same time....then we have conversations after being buzzed bout al these idea dreams and plans and they never ever come true....I feel I am going CRAZY.....I try and limit my interactions with him and go to sleep earily...then i get accused of being with other men... i want to leave but I feel guilty if I do...he has no family left...we have no children thank God I cant imagine a child seeing this everyday...I am so lonely and lost ....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-33265785660800718522014-09-20T10:15:59.483-04:002014-09-20T10:15:59.483-04:00I just started saving my cash tips so that I can c...I just started saving my cash tips so that I can consult with an attorney... BRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12241987852908950533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-80236543745398814262014-09-03T04:04:40.783-04:002014-09-03T04:04:40.783-04:00Thank you. I'm not alone. Thank you.Thank you. I'm not alone. Thank you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-27869717798428207292014-08-24T23:05:43.661-04:002014-08-24T23:05:43.661-04:00Thank you for sharing your story. I have been read...Thank you for sharing your story. I have been reading and coming back to the site several times in the last month. I noticed there have not been recent posts and I hope you will start to post again as your experiences and insights touch so many of us. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-73715129737402612802014-08-24T21:36:25.743-04:002014-08-24T21:36:25.743-04:00Wow. I came across this post and reading it was li...Wow. I came across this post and reading it was like reading my own diary EXCEPT he is sober and hasn't been drinking since long before I met him (maybe 15 years?) But the behavior is identical. I'm baffled.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-11482236722816187532014-08-23T07:47:38.977-04:002014-08-23T07:47:38.977-04:00Same problem here with my husband, he is highly fu...Same problem here with my husband, he is highly functional, drinks beer from morning to night, falls asleep around 7 at night, can never watch a movie together, or stay out late, or even do anything, he seems not to have any interest then working , drinking and golf. No intimacy, feels like living with a roommate, says his drinking is not a problem, though he vomits every morning, falls down and hurts himself more often then not. Seems to forgets things easily, then sometimes not. On the other side, he is giving, he buys me a lot of stuff and I am wondering why, is it to keep me quiet and content just getting gifts, I've tried to explain to him that I would rather have his love, doing stuff as a couple, walking , we hardly laugh together, what am I missing here? do they give gifts to compensate? We have been separated 3 weeks and thinking of divorcing... not what I want, though I may not have a choice if I want to return being happy. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-31455800320585710662014-08-20T14:31:11.478-04:002014-08-20T14:31:11.478-04:00It is true. So many of these stories sound like m...It is true. So many of these stories sound like mine. My husband and I have not even been married for 2 years, but I have had many of these experiences already. This is his second marriage, my first. I didn't grow up with addictions; my parents never even drank. When my husband began drinking on a regular basis I didn't know what to do, how to react, anything. In many ways I still don't. So many things that are frustrating to me about our married life, I now wonder how much is because of the drinking. I am mostly responsible for his older three children, as well as our new baby. He does nothing around the house, with the bills, anything because he works outside the home for 12 hours a day. I also work full time, but because I am a professor, and need to work from home, it's not the same thing. We are in a financial mess, which is always my fault. I never appreciate all he does, the money his job brings in, or the fact that half the country drinks every night and it could be worse. I see what his drinking has done to his older children (particularly the oldest 2) and fear what will happen to our baby. As a Christian, divorce is not something I want, and there is always the concern that if we do divorce, he will get primary custody of our son.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6159073356151966689.post-61312496005737049352014-08-12T00:21:25.553-04:002014-08-12T00:21:25.553-04:00The person's account above mimics much of my o...The person's account above mimics much of my own experience. At nearly 50 it seems hard to leave. Such complications and so much collateral damage to others. I am married to a highly functional alcoholic that is a master at keeping his addiction private. He is loved by everyone around him. The best guy around in most peoples opinion. They have no idea of what goes on in this home once it gets to be around 7 pm. He goes to bed drunk every night of the week. We have less and less in common. I appreciate this blog of sharing. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com